Host of the show enLight’n Up on The Lighter Side Network, DARSHANA PATEL shares some insights on the role of communication and technology in nurturing relationships. Darshana is an energy intuitive and medium, and helps others blaze new pathways to unleash their full potential.
Words are directed energy. What energy do we bring to our relationships with our words? Does that energy nurture greater harmony in our relationship? As individuals, we operate in the context of relationship to others; we are interconnected. Thus, the quality of our life experience is deeply affected by the level of harmony or discord in our relationships.
Non-violent communication invites the consciousness of interconnection – the awareness that we are all tethered by a flow of energy, which we overtly direct with our words. Once we recognize and become accountable for the energy we bring to the interconnected web of relationships, we may then bring a greater level of consciousness, or awareness, to the level of joy, harmony and authenticity that we experience in our relationships.
If we are going to weave greater harmony with the words we offer, it is worth pausing for a moment before asking, “What is my intention in communicating?” For example, one intention might be to “offer another perspective” versus to “defend my actions”. Imagine that an intention is an energetic container in which thoughts, actions, and communication exchange all take place. Create an intention that invites the mutual experience of empathy.
Imagine that an intention is intended energy.
What energy do you want to bring to your
present conversation and interaction?
What space can you hold to allow for
the peaceful exchange of information?
What feeling do you want to amplify in the exchange?
Imagine that an intention is intended energy. What energy do you want to bring to your present conversation and interaction? What space can you hold to allow for the peaceful exchange of information? What feeling do you want to amplify in the exchange? The practice of experiencing life as interconnected energy begins to build a deeper awareness of our emotional state and the cognition structures that shape our communication experience. We each live in our own reality, shaped by our consciousness – the degree to which we’re aware of our awareness. As we build the muscle of intention, we naturally open the aperture to greater compassion.
We are wired as humans to be empathic, to be sensitive to the energy of emotion. In relationships, we are satisfying core human needs, such as wanting to belong, to be seen, to be heard and to matter. We want to be understood, and the bridge between our inner and outer world is communication, both verbal and nonverbal. To offer empathy is to take the time to connect with what we and the other person are feeling – our internal state – what we and the other are needing, and the qualities of life that we are seeking.
For example, in a heated conversation, you could say, “I really sense that you’re frustrated about this. Is that what you’re feeling? I imagine some clarity and support may be helpful?” Empathy is a process. It’s an energy exchange that often goes back and forth with the intention of connection, and this naturally builds harmony.
As society grows in complexity and diversity of thought, so must our empathy – our ability to harmonize energy and information. Empathy is about ‘vibing with’, literally resonating without judgment or resistance in order to allow the energy to flow. And naturally tension releases. We feel better. We breathe a sigh of relief when we connect with what we’re feeling. We name it. We explore it. We release it. Empathy requires suspending our meaning-making to be present to what’s being expressed within ourselves or another. Empathy is the back-and-forth of exploration, to uncover the emotion that is unresolved.
It is easy to fall into ‘scripts’ with the people closest to us. What we say, how we say it and when we say it takes shape into patterns. There is a comfort in predictability, like the brief exchanges in the morning family ritual. However, as we grow as individuals in self-awareness, our intimate relationships often need to evolve along with us. In seeking to express deeper levels of our authentic self, we can break old expectations and patterns of communication by first being present. Check in to the conversation. Check in to the relationship.
We measure so many things in our lives, and we know our bank account balance at the end of each day. Why don’t we measure the levels of joy and authenticity in our relationships and get real with that balance? We can break the cycle of limiting patterns or old cycles of expectations by being present, conscious and real to the people in our lives. Disrupt established scripts by changing the typical dialogue exchange. Talk about a new topic. Tell them how your day really was. It really is as simple as speaking from the heart. If we want to break the patterns that limit us in any way, simply speak from the heart and then keep responding from the heart.
Mobile devices and Artificial Intelligence (AI) technology are constantly shifting the landscape of communication. Something surprising that I’m noticing is the acceleration of ideas through the collective consciousness as a result of technology. As we allow ourselves to be constantly tethered to the collective web of global consciousness through communication devices, we are deprived of the quiet stillness of our own inner intuitive intelligence. With today’s technology, our individual brains are like computers wirelessly connected to a master computer (AI) that gives us a constant drip of news and noise with some bits of quality communication to keep us coming back for more. We are losing the connection with ourselves. Our inner dialogue is being shaped by implanted narratives from an ‘information pusher’ in the palm of the hand.
We can wisely navigate the influences of television and media by first being aware of their presence and influence in our lives. The more we are aware of the influence, the more we can navigate and avoid their impact. I would suggest setting up simple systems to control your exposure to television and other media.
How do you receive the news headlines on your mobile device?
Do you receive and react to alerts?
Turn off the alerts.
Skim the headlines once at the beginning and once at the end of the day.
Only read select articles that enrich your understanding of yourself and the affairs of the world.
Own the energy you allow in your space versus being a victim of what you are exposed to.
We are vibrational beings affecting
a web of energy with our presence,
intentions, and communication.
Thus, the energy, the information,
we consume can be as healthy or toxic as the food we eat.
We are vibrational beings affecting a web of energy with our presence, intentions, and communication. Thus, the energy, the information, we consume can be as healthy or toxic as the food we eat. And this energy influences our capacity to bring harmony and presence to our communication. How does it feel to consume the news headlines on your mobile device? Positive headlines may uplift us while negative headlines may leave us feeling hopeless. How do we carry this energy into our next conversation and interaction? Life is an ebb and flow of vibrational energy. And the more accountable we become to the energy we take in, the more authentic we may become in the energy we express in communication.
Article by DARSHANA PATEL
Title illustration by YOUHEUM SON
August 02, 2019
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