LOVE IN ACTION
DAAJI continues his series on everyday
living, introducing the ninth universal principle of the User’s Guide, which
explores how to become the best version of ourselves. He shares the
importance of lifestyle as a complement to a meditative practice, and how
our attitude to lifestyle reflects in our relationships with others.As a
starting point, this ninth principle helps us to celebrate and value
diversity among us all. In removing our prejudices and accepting the
richness of humanity and other life forms, we evoke love and piety in
others, and create unity within that diversity. As we go deeper into this
principle, we realize the important roles of love and duty in our daily life
if we are to become the best version of ourselves.
Principle Nine
Mold your behavior and way of living to such
a high order as to rouse a feeling of
love and piety in others.
So far, we have covered eight principles, which we have categorized under
Practice, Values, and Behavior. In Principle 9, we now look at raising the
bar even higher in our dealings with others, so that they are inspired by us
and feel our association to be ennobling. Principle 9 is a call to action to
become our best possible version, to be in tune with our highest Self. This
requires the coming together of all aspects of our practice and lifestyle.
It requires the awareness, refinement, and moderation required for
transformation. It is the culmination of all the previous principles, so
that we become role models for others. Principle 9 is thus also about
Leadership. A true leader leads by example, as a source of inspiration to
others. And there is no shortcut to becoming such a leader; it is a weaving
of all the previous principles into a way of life that evokes love wherever
we go.
Inner transformation can change outer behavior
The real proof of our inner transformation is in our outer behavior and
lifestyle, which are reflected in our dealings with everyone and everything.
This is known in Yoga as vyavahara. Our dealings with others occur
primarily in our conversations and actions, while the inner aspects of our
being that frame these conversations and actions are our thoughts and
feelings. Molding our living to the highest order means transforming all of
these.
And how can we achieve this? Contemporary science now acknowledges that
consciousness is the basic canvas of the manifested universe. Everything
emanates from consciousness. So, to make any lasting change in the world, to
mold our living, we have to expand and transform our consciousness, and
meditation is the most effective way to do this. It is for this reason that
meditation has become immensely popular with people who are interested in
transformation.
Science now acknowledges that consciousness is
the basic canvas of the manifested universe.
Everything emanates from consciousness.
But meditation is one part of the story. The other important part is: How
do we bring that expanded consciousness into our way of living? How do we
allow it to transform our behavior to such a high order that we rouse a
feeling of love and piety in others? Do we need to consider the play of
cognitive and emotional biases in dealing with others? How can we create the
feeling of goodness in others while we go on with an “I don’t care”
attitude? Is it within us to remove biases from within?
Our way of living is all about how we interact with each other, how we
converse, how we respond in a particular environment, how we dress, the kind
of perfume we wear or don’t wear, our body language, the way we judge or
value others – so many things. The way we conduct ourselves says everything
about our way of living. For example, how do we live in such a way that we
are not creating envy or jealousy in others? That means simplification to
the bare minimum.
Remember Principle 4, “Simplify your life so as to become identical with
your divine Nature”? I am purposely adding the word “divine” here to make
the meaning of the word “Nature” clearer. It has nothing to do with sleeping
under trees. It has everything to do with simplifying life so as to imbibe
our divine Nature. When we go to that level of simplicity, the bare minimum,
then it is possible to rouse the feeling of love and piety in others. It is
a very high goal, actually. So, there is a need to think on how to get rid
of complexities in order to arrive at simplicity.
And here we are not just talking of rousing love and piety in ourselves,
which is a prerequisite and already a valid achievement. We are taking it to
the next level of rousing love and piety in others. It has to be something
more than being pious and in absolute love with God. That is not enough.
Things move from higher to lower. If our purity has to flow into someone
else, if we are to create a state of piety in others, we will have to reach
a higher level so that it can move from higher to lower. Arriving at
incremental purity too demands the removal of impurities – how shall we do
that?
Creating loving relationships with others
The word “piety” is derived from pietas, the Latin word meaning
dutifulness, affection, love, loyalty, and gratitude. It is worth exploring
the idea of dutifulness here. When we are able to fulfil our duties, our
dealings, our vyavahara, then we automatically create a kind of
resonance with others. When we fail in our duties, others will have no
respect for us, let alone love and piety. What happens in a family, for
example, when parents are too busy to spend the proper time nurturing,
protecting and supporting their children? Eventually, those children will
lose respect for their parents, because their parental duty has not been
carried out. Here we are talking of the highest level of
vyavahara that resonates from our hearts. That resonance is created
in such a way that others are not hurt by our way of living: They are not
hurt because of the way we speak, or because we ignore them, or the fact
that we don’t smile, or because we flaunt what we have. It has to be very
simple, the bare minimum. And it must come with a sense of reverence and
respect for others. This requires a lot of deliberation and consideration.
Can we artificially cultivate love and piety and make a show of it? No, it
is not possible, although it does help to try! Surely it will inspire us
toward a nobler goal. We can only genuinely express love and piety in our
behavior and way of living by first acquiring the condition and creating
that inner environment within us. It cannot be copied just by being with a
saint or a Master, or by reading about it. It needs to flower from within as
a result of meditative practices. And how will we receive such a condition
in meditation? How will it transform our inner environment? Will our thirst
be quenched simply by looking at two lovely bottles of sparkling mineral
water? No. It will only happen when we become perfect receptacles. And that
will happen when our hearts become the perfect vacuum. That is why the
Cleaning process is so vital in Heartfulness, as it removes the complexities
and impurities in our field of consciousness, resulting in the vacuum.
Eventually, after regular practice over time, we mold our living to such a
high order that we are no longer dependent on the Cleaning practice, because
our lifestyle no longer results in cognitive and emotional biases, either in
ourselves or in others. Only then will our associates and loved ones find
some peace; only then will they find some sort of uncompromising
relationship with us. Only then will there be no demands. It will be a
loving relationship based only on purity and simplicity.
Authenticity and conscience
That is why, again and again, Babuji speaks of vyavahara – duty.
What is your duty in this very moment? Not only in your relationships, but
also with the environment in which you move; be it a place that belongs to a
friend, your relatives, or you; be it an industry, an office, or a farm. How
does your presence contribute?
You cannot fabricate the conditions within yourself, you cannot pretend to
be pious, and you cannot pretend to be pure. It will happen when you create
an authentic relationship with your Maker and with your conscience. Are you
happy with your conscience, whatever you do? Analyze yourself. If you throw
garbage on the street or in the river, how does it make you feel? Do you
have a certain level of conscience? A lot of us do have a conscience, but is
it awakened with the ability to act? Sensitivity develops only then. And we
will only become sensitive to subtler and higher things when we are
sensitive to these worldly things by actual implementation. Each time our
little inner voice prompts us to do something worthwhile, we need to listen
to it. Otherwise we will lose the art!
Going beyond the senses and becoming sensitive
requires at least some commitment
to listening to our conscience
about the day-to-day mundane things.
When we have to be reminded
of our duties again and again,
our consciousness cannot expand.
Going beyond the senses and becoming sensitive requires at least some
commitment to listening to our conscience about the day-to-day mundane
things. When we have to be reminded of our duties again and again, our
consciousness cannot expand. Constant reminders are necessary when we fail
to listen. It is already too late when our conscience bites. Because our
duty has not been done, hence the reminder comes.
Piety arises within the heart. It comes from beyond when we empty
ourselves, when we remain prayerful, when we remain receptive. Piety can
become a permanent fixture in us, but it cannot be practiced. Purity cannot
be practiced. Divinity cannot be practiced. We can become pious, we can
become pure, and we can become divine, but we cannot practice these things.
They are the results of practice.
So what can we practice? The daily Heartfulness practices of Meditation,
Cleaning, and Prayer. The expansion of consciousness that occurs through
these practices is then woven back into daily life, transforming our entire
being. Thought, feeling, speech, and behavior are interconnected; and any
change in one leads to change in the others, resulting in transformation in
all aspects of our life, creating a holistic transformation.
When we master this Principle, the application of vyavahara in our
daily life becomes so very natural. Helping any beings in need, whether
human or otherwise, is automatic and without ceremony. It is not that we
even think in terms of charity, or good deeds, or random acts of kindness,
or practicing compassion, or protecting the environment: it is our
fundamental human duty to support and care for others, and do whatever is
needed for them. It is the natural state – why even consider it to be duty?
Hence, there is no need for accolades or appreciation. The ego is not
involved. It is like a mother waking during the night to attend to her
newborn. Does she see it as a duty or a sacrifice? Not at all – it is simply
what she does. It is natural.
One with Nature
The result of this transformation is that we become one with Nature. When
all the impurities are gone, we achieve that original state. It is then that
our dealings are in tune with Nature. So, what are the aspects of Nature
that Principle 9 asks us to emulate?
The first is uniformity. For example, be like the sun that shines
everywhere without discrimination, and the air that is available for
everyone to breathe. The trees give shade to both sinner and saint, and a
rose gives fragrance to both rich and poor. Nature does not discriminate. We
are all from the same Source of existence, or, putting it a bit differently,
we are manifestations of one energy or singularity.
The second is diversity. Nature embraces and celebrates diversity. Can you
imagine a beautiful woodland with only one type of plant? It is the variety
of colors, textures, heights, leaf shapes, and flowers that give the woods
their beauty. Nature manifests herself in diversity, and each expression
receives its share, according to its capacity and worth.
When we change our behavior, it helps to change our thinking.
When we change our thinking, it changes our belief patterns.
This process is iterative and convergent, and the change is cumulative.
As we continue on, we gradually align with Nature.
When we combine these two aspects, we arrive at the idea of unity in
diversity, which is the ultimate way we are able to value each other, accept
our various strengths and weaknesses, live a happy family life, in
community, and accept that we evolve by ennobling others.
The third aspect is evolution and growth. Nature is continuously evolving.
From the primordial soup, the spark of life was ignited when the first
single-celled organisms appeared. It took millions of years to evolve into
the diversity of species we see today. Evolution and growth are primary
impulses in Nature. Here on Earth, human beings are said to be the pinnacle
of evolution right now. While plants and other animals evolve automatically
according to Nature’s plan, we have been gifted with the possibility to
evolve consciously. We have been endowed with a level of consciousness to be
self-aware, and we can expand and transform that consciousness. The process
through which we do this is meditation.
Meditation allows us to progressively become more and more like Nature, but
the transformation only becomes permanent when we apply it in our day-to-day
dealings. When we change our behavior, it helps to change our thinking. When
we change our thinking, it changes our belief patterns. This process is
iterative and convergent, and the change is cumulative. As we continue on,
we gradually align with Nature.
The science of molding our living
What is meant by “Mold your behavior and way of living”? Take the example
of a metallic object that is defective or not up to the mark. In the process
of molding it, we first have to melt it down. This melting down is a
metaphor for removing existing habits, breaking down mental and emotional
patterns, and changing our belief systems. Once we break down those things
of our own making, we can be remade in Nature’s mold.
From a scientific perspective, this means deprogramming our fixed
subconscious neural patterns, so that neuroplasticity and adaptability
develop in line with Nature’s principles. This happens through the removal
of repetitive tendencies, behaviors and habits. Let’s say we have the habit
of rudeness in our speech. The first step is to recognize it and want to
change. As our speech becomes more and more polite, it will be noticed by
others and they will change their behavior toward us. This will further
motivate us to be polite, until eventually it becomes part of our nature.
This also changes our thinking. In turn, the neural patterns related to rude
speech are erased. But all this is made permanent when we remove the root
cause of the patterns at the level of the subtle body through the practice
of Cleaning.
Such changes in lifestyle involve all the earlier eight principles: the
daily practice of Meditation to train the mind, the practice of Prayer to
vacuumize the heart, having a focus on the highest goal, imbibing the
universal values of simplicity, truthfulness and kinship, accepting miseries
and eschewing resentment and revenge, and being happy to eat what we receive
with due regard to honest and pious earnings. These principles are the tools
that shape our transformation.
Attracting the divine gaze
But the best is yet to come! When we mold our living in this way, we not
only rouse feelings of love and piety in our fellow beings, we also begin to
catch the divine attention. We become “the cynosure of His eyes,” in
Babuji’s words. And this is an essential step if we want to continue on the
journey. As Babuji explains, “Divine help does come, no doubt, but only when
the Supreme is convinced of the devotee’s earnestness of purpose.” The
Supreme Being also needs to have trust in us. Are we earnest, sincere,
really searching, and authentic? Otherwise, why would He fool around with
us? Babuji’s own Master, Lalaji, explains it further in the book,
Truth Eternal: “When we have lost all sense of our own
significance, and are devoid of ego-consciousness in any form, direct or
indirect, then whatever we do will be just what we ought to be doing. This
condition, if bestowed by God, is the best of all conditions.” Then Nature
takes its place.
Inspiring ourselves and inspiring others
From experience, we know that we cannot inspire others unless we are
inspired ourselves. Many people are inspired by wealth, fame, and prestige.
Though there is nothing wrong with any of these, true seekers are not
inspired by them, but simply accept them with gratitude when they come. It
is not what we are looking for. We are also not waiting for some profound
prize or enlightenment in the distant future when we complete the journey.
We are inspired by something immediate, in the present, and you may be
surprised by the answer. It is the condition bestowed in meditation, the
gift of Samadhi, oneness with God, that is the inspiration. There
is a little taste of the Divine each time we meditate. This is what inspires
us to practice and also what inspires us to live a simple and truthful life,
treating everyone as kin. This is what inspires us to become the best
version of ourselves in whatever we do, each and every day, so that it
eventually becomes permanent.
The love and respect we receive from others are only indications of our
progress, the confirmation that our behavior is aligning more and more with
Nature, but it is not the reason we want to change. Other people may be
attracted to us because of the feeling of love and piety that arises in
their hearts, but if we expect it, it will only be an expression of
ego.
Conscious leadership
The qualities that are valued in today’s leaders are vastly different from
those that were valued thirty years ago. There has been a shift from
dominance, power and control, to empathy, emotional intelligence and
compassion. This shift correlates with the shift in our collective
consciousness, and it is also validated in research done in the fields of
neuroscience and quantum physics. This research indicates that we are
connected to everything in the universe through consciousness. Nature is
innately intelligent, and that intelligence manifests in conscious form in
human beings, so we have an additional responsibility to take care of
Nature. We have the means to change external conditions by consciously
changing our inner Nature.
When we reflect deeply on Principle 9, we realize that conscious leadership
comes from within, from refining ourselves, from moderating our impulses and
transforming our behavior. It is only then that we inspire others and evoke
a feeling of love in their hearts. All of us have the potential to lead in
whatever stage or position we are in. To be a leader means to live a life
that inspires others, whether in the family, at school, in the community,
the workplace, or the world at large.
So what is the day-to-day practical application of Principle 9? It is in
every moment. It covers our entire existence. It applies to every little
facet of our existence. And small steps bring about big changes. As a start,
here is something you can try: Pay attention to your speech – to what you
say and how you say it. Bring your heart into coherence with your whole
being before you speak, by bringing your attention to your heart. If needed,
you can breathe in and out five times from your heart. Smile to your heart
when you speak. Choose your words correctly. Keep your tone even, calm,
soothing and compassionate. Speak truthfully without hurting others. Help
them to feel comfortable. When your speech is calm, your emotions will be
calm, your body will be calm, and your thoughts will be calm. You will
remain calmly connected with the Real. When you practice this consistently
with awareness, it will transform your life.
Article by KAMLESH PATEL (DAAJI)
Illustrations by JASMEE RATHOD
