Are there barriers to starting a self-compassion journey?

BRIAN JONES is a corporate interior design artist and writer, who has been meditating for 50 years. He is also a Heartfulness trainer. Brian has been a regular contributor to the online question/answer sessions on Quora for several years, sharing his stories, lessons, and experiences. https://www.brianjonesconnect.com/

Why are we human beings so hard on ourselves?

We are good-hearted, loving beings by nature, and even the smallest emotions, judgments, and criticism send our hearts into ripples and sometimes shockwaves.

The heart is the field of our feelings. The mind, on the other hand, is very tricky. It always interprets our feelings through our past experiences, our filters of right and wrong, our opinions and prejudices.

The mind is a great storyteller. It doesn’t care if it’s telling the truth or lying to us about how we are feeling; it just creates a story from what it already knows.

On returning homeward to being compassionate and kind to our hearts, we must acknowledge that “my thoughts and stories are just not going to have power over me anymore.” This takes a little practice and persistence.

You can try this practice at night:

Sit on the side of your bed or on your bed.
Think of all the people who have been important to you in your life.
Feel a sense of love and gratitude for them percolate up inside.
Then feel you are sending them your love and gratitude.

Do this at bedtime for a few days. Then include other people too, perhaps someone you have not forgiven.

Now, remember to include yourself in this process. Send yourself love and gratitude.

This is a powerful technique. The secret is that it is the same feeling whether you feel you love others or are loved by them. So, it is for you to send your love. The more you practice, the more you will become loving, and you will feel your inner walls melting away.

So, I don’t like to think that there are barriers in the way of self-compassion. There are only the stories you tell yourself.

Create a new story. One that is your aspiration. One filled with love and compassion.

Believe it.

This article first appeared at www.quora.com, September 6, 2022.

Illustration by JASMEE MUDGAL