Dr Hester O Connor is a Clinical Psychologist who manages a psychology service in the Irish Health Service. She lives in Wicklow, the Garden of Ireland, loves chatting with friends, drinking Darjeeling tea, and listening to pop music.

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Hester O Connor

  <h4>DR HESTER O CONNOR shares some tips on how to support children after a death in the family.</h4>
<hr class="vertical-space1">
<p style="text-align: justify;">When someone in the family dies, it can be daunting for parents to manage their own grief. How can we help our children face what may well be their first experience of death?</p>
<h5><strong><span style="color: #89c742;">Routine Is Important</span></strong></h5>
<p style="text-align: justify;">We all need routine and structure. It helps well-being and recovery for all the family. Your children will do better if they keep up with normal routines such as going to school before or after the funeral. More sleep is always helpful and again sticking to the normal routine can help everyone to feel safe at this sad time. The bedtime routine might be a good time to let your child tell you about their day. It’s best if you can listen and not be frightened by what you hear or try to stifle feelings.</p>
<h5><strong><span style="color: #89c742;">Attending Funerals</span></strong></h5>
<p style="text-align: justify;">Death is a natural part of life, and the ritual of a funeral helps. Your child gets to experience an important social ritual. Prepare the child for the funeral by explaining what happens so that there are no surprises. If you sense attending a funeral is going to distress your child it’s okay if they don’t attend. It is very beneficial to have a sense of a spiritual dimension to life. If you have beliefs, share them with your child; if it helps you, it will help them too. There are no rules. It is best to trust your sense of what your child can manage. The most helpful attitude is one of lovingly sensing what is needed and trusting this.</p>
<h5><strong><span style="color: #89c742;">Talking About Death</span></strong></h5>
<p style="text-align: justify;">Is your child ready to talk about death? Children aged seven to eight years begin to understand permanency. At this stage they feel a bigger impact of loss as they know it is forever. Before this, a child may be upset because a parent is upset, but they might be fine otherwise, as they do not grasp the permanency of death.</p>
<p style="text-align: justify;">Use simple language and avoid euphemisms like “Grandma has gone to sleep.” It is good for children to uunderstand that the period after a death can be a sad time. It is normal to be sad and it will get better. Sadness need not be avoided.</p>
<hr>
<h5 style="text-align: center;">Loss and sadness are part&nbsp;and parcel of life,<br>
and if a child is helped to face loss<br>
they will be better prepared for other losses in life.<br>
It&nbsp;is helpful for a child to know&nbsp;that<br>
everyone feels sad or unhappy from time to time.</h5>
<hr>
<p style="text-align: justify;">If you can talk about death in a natural way, a child is more likely to ask questions when they are ready to understand more. Be sensitive to the age of the child and what you feel they can manage. You are not obliged to give all the details. This applies especially to deaths where there are unpleasant details such as a road traffic accident or suicide. You do not want to burden a child with unnecessary details, as the images are likely to stay in their minds. You can give more details when the child asks in the months to come.</p>
<p style="text-align: justify;">Don’t pretend, as making up stories will lead to mistrust. It is best if children hear the truth explained simply by you. Avoiding the topic is not helpful, especially as a child is likely to hear stories elsewhere, such as in school.</p>
<h5><strong><span style="color: #89c742;">Children Take Their Cues From You</span></strong></h5>
<p style="text-align: justify;">Are you okay speaking about death? If you are frightened or uncomfortable, your child will pick this up and become fearful too. Transmit the understanding that death is part of life. Encourage children to remember good things about the person, and look at photos or make a scrap book.</p>
<p style="text-align: justify;">Children often communicate with behavior, not words. If a child’s behavior changes following a death, perhaps they are communicating their sense of grief and loss. Find a loving way to empathize and see how the child is feeling will make a difference. Loss and sadness are part and parcel of life, and if a child is helped to face loss they will be better prepared for other losses in life. It is helpful for a child to know that everyone feels sad or unhappy from time to time.</p>
<h5><strong><span style="color: #89c742;">Creating An Atmosphere Of Trust</span></strong></h5>
<p style="text-align: justify;">It is much easier to talk about sadness and difficulties if there is already an atmosphere of openness and trust in the family. One of the best ways to foster such an atmosphere is by spending quality time with children. Quality time with a child will reap more rewards than anything you can give them that costs money.</p>
<hr>
<h5 style="text-align: center;">Article by DR HESTER O CONNOR</h5>
<hr>

Children and Death

<h5>Clinical psychologist, Dr HESTER O CONNOR, offers some insights into keys aspects of having a good relationship with
  your teenage children.</h5>
<hr class="vertical-space1">
<p>Did it ever occur to you why flight attendants suggest before take-off, “In the event of an emergency put on your own
  oxygen mask first before you assist others?” On reflection it is obvious that you will be able to help others in an
  emergency if your own oxygen supply is stabilised. Similarly, it is important as a parent to try to stay calm during
  the inevitable turbulence of adolescence when your teenager children assert their autonomy and strive for
  independence.</p>
<h5>A NARRATIVE:<br>
  ANNA’S PLAN FOR A SLEEPOVER</h5>
<p style="text-align: justify;">It’s summer holidays and twelve-year old Anna says she is staying over at Poppy’s house
  tonight. Anna’s mum Judy doesn’t feel comfortable with Poppy’s family, so Judy says, “No”. A row breaks out. Anna
  finally calls her mum a ‘fat ….’ and leaves the room banging the door. Judy starts feeling very conscious of her
  weight, and wants to tell Anna exactly what she thinks of her in this very moment.</p>
<p style="text-align: justify;">Anna sits in her room sobbing. She feels confused, misunderstood and totally overwhelmed
  by life right now. She does not know why she feels so bad, but she just feels like trashing things. Judy calls out
  to Anna that she is taking Beanie the dog for a short walk. She does this to draw breath. Judy feels sad, wounded
  and fearful but decides to respond to what it must feel like for Anna right now.</p>
<p style="text-align: justify;">She wants to give them both space, and so she texts Anna: “I know how hard and
  frustrating it must feel for you when I say no, but maybe later when we have both calmed down we can have a chat.”
  Judy plans to explain why she is not happy for Anna to go to Poppy’s for a sleepover.</p>
<hr>
<h4 style="text-align: center;">It is important as a parent to try to stay calm<br>
  during the inevitable turbulence of adolescence<br>
  when your teenager children assert their autonomy<br>
  and strive for independence.</h4>
<hr>
<h5 style="text-align: left;">RESPONDING VERSUS REACTING</h5>
<p style="text-align: justify;">In this little story there are a few key elements at play. Anna has gone into fight or
  flight mode. Fight or flight is what happens instantaneously when we have a response of deep fear to any situation.
  We are hard wired as humans to have the fight or flight response to protect us when faced with a real threat, such
  as being chased by a wild animal.</p>
<p style="text-align: justify;">Many of us go into fight or flight mode several times a day in the face of minor
  challenges, such as getting stuck in traffic. We over-respond because our bodies don’t know the difference between
  the traffic and being attacked by a tiger! They gear up to protect us from real danger.</p>
<p style="text-align: justify;">Anna finds herself in a state of heightened awareness, she is fearful and she reacts as
  if she is under real threat by attacking her mother with strong words. It is very confusing for most of us to know
  what is going in moments like this.</p>
<hr>
<h4 style="text-align: center;">We are hard wired as humans to have the fight or flight response<br>
  to protect us when faced with a real threat,<br>
  such as being chased by a wild animal.</h4>
<hr>
<p style="text-align: justify;">Initially Judy responds in a similar way to Anna and her own fight or flight response is
  also triggered by Anna’s anger. Judy does something different though: she catches herself and chooses not to react
  on impulse, as she remembers that this time a new response is needed. Judy pauses and goes for a short walk. This
  helps bring harmony with her daughter.</p>
<h5 style="text-align: left;">BUILDING A RELATIONSHIP OF TRUST</h5>
<p style="text-align: justify;">Let’s see the simple things in Judy response that help build a relationship of trust
  with Anna:</p>
<p style="text-align: justify;">By letting Anna know she is going for a short walk, Judy communicates that she will be
  back soon. This communication is very important for twelve-year-old Anna, who fears the intensity of her own anger.
</p>
<p style="text-align: justify;">Although Judy is also feeling fearful, she decides not to retaliate and instead she
  senses what is needed, calms herself and responds calmly.</p>
<p style="text-align: justify;">If Judy had yelled back or gone out without telling Anna where she was going or when she
  would come back, Anna would have felt punished by the withdrawal of love and kindness. Her confusion would have
  deepened, creating distance. But she didn’t.</p>
<p style="text-align: justify;">Judy was also able to stay firm in saying no. By communicating with love rather than
  automatically falling into defensive mode herself, she kept the relationship open, did not punish Anna, and also was
  able to explain why she said no, wanting to keep her daughter safe.</p>
<p><img decoding="async" alt="Loving the Teenage Years" width="661" class="lazyload has-img-center" style="width: 661px !important;" 
    src="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/loving_the_teenage_years_1_img_fd491e9ea1.jpg"></p>
<h5>WHO CARES FOR THE PARENT?</h5>
<p style="text-align: justify;">It is sometimes tough being a parent, and it is vital that you have someone to talk to
  who will listen to you. Then it is easier to guide your teenager with kindness when challenged by them. Parenting
  with love and kindness is the base of the security that all children need.</p>
<hr>
<h4 style="text-align: center;">Article by HESTER O CONNOR</h4>
<hr>

Loving the Teenage Years

<h4 class="block-heading"
  id="h-dr-hester-o-connor-a-clinical-psychologist-shares-some-simple-ways-to-help-children-know-what-is-going-on-inside-their-hearts-and-minds">
  <strong><mark style="background-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0); color: #d69d01">DR. HESTER O
      CONNOR</mark>, a clinical psychologist, shares some simple ways to help children know
    what is going on inside their hearts and minds.</strong>
</h4>

<hr class="vertical-space1" />

<p>
  The ability to recognize and manage feelings and emotions is very protective
  for the mental health and the well-being of children. Yet it is not automatic
  for children to grow up knowing about their feelings and emotions. We teach
  children many wonderful and valuable lessons at home and in school, but there
  is still a big gap in teaching children how to understand what is going on
  inside their hearts and minds.
</p>

<p>
  With the external stimulation and distraction of social media, it is hardly
  surprising that many children are growing up with little sense of who they are
  on the inside. So when young people face difficulties at home, in school, or
  in relationships, they can find themselves at a loss to make sense of their
  feelings and emotions. Some feel totally overwhelmed and frightened of what is
  happening to them on the inside. Helping a child to develop the ability to
  understand their own mental states and feelings, and to make sense of the
  feelings of others, is a crucial skill that will build their resilience and
  enable them to manage better in the world.
</p>

<h4 class="block-heading">
  <strong><mark style="background-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0)" class="has-vivid-red-color">Why is the
      ability to know one’s heart and mind important?</mark></strong>
</h4>

<p>
  Research has found that each one of us will experience issues with our mental
  health from time to time throughout our lives. This means we all need the
  skills to know how to navigate our inner world so that when we face
  challenges, when we fall out with friends, fail an exam, or experience family
  hardship, we have the ability to interpret what is going on. If we can make
  sense of the turmoil, we will be able to put our difficulties into perspective
  and learn from our experiences.
</p>

<p>
  A friend told me a story about a three-year-old, who said to his mum, “I’m not
  cross that you sent me to Liz’s house today, I’m angry.” This is clearly a boy
  who is secure enough in his relationship with his mother to express his
  feelings. She can tolerate his angry feelings so he does not have to protect
  her from them. This preserves their trust in each other.
</p>

<p>
  It is ideal when children grow up in environments where they are encouraged to
  notice and express a whole range of emotions, including anger, sadness, joy,
  happiness, frustration, etc. The movie,
  <em>Inside Out</em>, from 2015,expresses this theme perfectly.
</p>

<hr class="vertical-space1" />

<div class="block-image">
  <figure>
    <img decoding="async" width="700" height="469" alt="Minefield2" class="has-img-center lazyload"
      src="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/Minefield2_9a44f73789.jpg?updated_at=2023-04-12T10:38:51.913Z" />
  </figure>
</div>

<hr class="vertical-space1" />

<h4 class="block-heading">
  <strong><mark style="background-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0)" class="has-vivid-red-color">How to help
      children know their hearts and minds?</mark></strong>
</h4>

<p>
  When young children hear their parents say what they think and feel, it helps
  them. The adult saying what is going on gives permission for the child to be
  in touch with what they are feeling. An example is when a parent is curious
  about their baby’s cry and says, “Let’s see, are you hungry or do you need
  your nappy changed?”
</p>

<p>
  Ten-year-old Claire does not believe in eating vegetables. Her parents can see
  that agreeing to her protest will not be good for her health and will set the
  stage for protests over other issues. Her dad Tom playfully explains the
  reasons why eating vegetables is good for her, and agrees to sit with her
  while she eats them. During the ensuing tears, Tom softens his tone of voice
  so that Claire can let in what he says, even though she doesn’t like it. He
  explains that he knows she is upset, and that it cannot feel nice for her to
  try food she doesn’t like. He reminds her of when she didn’t like swimming,
  but quickly over came her fear.
</p>

<p>
  Tom’s tone of voice is very important in how he explains to his daughter what
  is going on. He is empathetic, which helps to diffuse her frustration and
  resistance. The crucial part of helping a child to know their own feelings and
  emotions, is to build a loving relationship with the child. The kindness with
  which Tom speaks is central to helping Claire develop curiosity rather than
  fear about what is going on inside her.
</p>

<p>
  The ability to recognize and manage feelings and emotions is very protective
  for the mental health and the well-being of children.
</p>

<hr class="vertical-space1" />

<hr />

<h4 class="has-text-align-center block-heading">
  Illustrations by ARATI SHEDDE
</h4>

<hr />

Helping children to make sense of their hearts and minds

<h4
    id="h-hester-o-connor-shares-an-account-of-her-personal-research-into-the-experience-of-a-3-day-meditation-retreat-how-easy-it-was-to-look-for-distraction-afterward">
    <strong><mark style="background-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0); color: #75aa3b">HESTER O
            CONNOR</mark>
        shares an account of her personal research into the experience of a 3-day
        meditation retreat. How easy it was to look for distraction
        afterward!</strong>
</h4>

<hr class="vertical-space1" />

<p>
    I have been practicing Heartfulness Meditation for almost 30 years, and this
    September I participated remotely in a 3-day spiritual retreat presented by
    Heartfulness. In line with many spiritual traditions, we are encouraged to
    study our meditative experiences and keep a diary of what we feel and discover
    –in other words, to do our own research.
</p>

<p>
    Live-stream meditations were conducted by Daaji, and here is a narrative
    account of what I experienced during and after the retreat.
</p>

<p>
    On Day 2, I was aware of an inner feeling of purity, and a longing to be like
    my guide. I would describe it as a feeling of wanting to be the absolute best
    version of myself. There was an inner stillness like a pond with no ripples. I
    had a feeling of moving closer to my teacher, as if the gap between us was
    less than it had been in previous days. I was conscious of not wanting
    anything to spoil this inner atmosphere. I had been ill for a few days with
    the flu, so I was relieved that I did not have to leave the house and be
    around others. I did not want to be pulled out from inside into conversation.
    I was happy to be quiet, savoring and absorbing what I received in the
    meditations with Daaji.
</p>

<p>
    In addition to those group meditations, I meditated twice a day at home. I
    found myself clearing a corner of clutter in my kitchen, something I had been
    meaning to do for months. The daily preoccupations that I am so easily caught
    up in were not present. I went to bed in this state of ease.
</p>

<p>
    I woke early for the final meditation of the 3-day event. The rest of the day
    was filled with inner spaciousness and ease. I did not feel pulled out of this
    state in the office during the day.
</p>

<hr class="vertical-space1" />

<hr />

<h4 class="has-text-align-center">
    <mark style="background-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0); color: #75aa3b">When you couple clean
        eating with quality sleep,<br />adequate movement,
        rest and recovery, emotional wellness,<br />and your spirit, you help the
        natural<br />in-built intelligence of your body to work for you<br />and aid
        prevention and recovery.</mark>
</h4>

<hr />

<hr class="vertical-space1" />

<h4>
    <strong><mark style="background-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0); color: #f0532a">The allure of
            distraction</mark></strong>
</h4>

<p>
    When I got home from work that evening, I noticed a shift. I longed to party,
    to let my hair down as if I was coming out of a period of isolation. I mulled
    over what I would do to distract myself. I had a moment when I could have
    chosen to stay with the inner experience and not be distracted, but I wanted
    distraction. I sat and watched an hour of the UK Channel Four News, and was
    very distracted by the dire events. I felt like praying for the plight of the
    suffering in the world. After that, I said to myself, “Enough.”
</p>

<hr class="vertical-space1" />

<div>
    <figure>
        <img decoding="async" width="700" height="480" alt="" class="mx-auto d-block lazyload has-img-center"
            src="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/allure_of_distraction2_700x480_a41063dca6.jpg?updated_at=2023-04-12T11:02:50.507Z" />
    </figure>
</div>

<hr class="vertical-space1" />

<p>
    Why would I choose to return to the familiarity and comfort of distraction, of
    thinking and action? What was going on in these moments of choice between the
    spaciousness and beauty within, an inner gift arising from meditation, and
    seeking the familiar daily round of thinking and doing?
</p>

<p>
    It is helpful for me to question the ideas that underpin how I live my life
    every day. We all have beliefs that influence how we behave, yet we rarely
    stop to think about these underlying beliefs, or the assumptions that inform
    our thinking and actions. What I received from my Catholic upbringing was the
    trust that all would be well in life. My mother was a fan of the Christian
    mystics. The Julian of Norwich quote,“All shall be well, and all shall be
    well, and all manner of things shall be well,” comes to mind when things feel
    difficult. My father had a simple faith. Where I differ from my parents is
    that I believe in reincarnation of the soul. I believe that I have the
    capacity for goodness and destruction. Goodness is expressed as action to
    alleviate suffering, which includes well-intentioned action for all of
    creation. Destruction is any kind of harm to anything animate or inanimate –
    judgmental thoughts, cheating, and wasting resources like time, energy, and so
    on.
</p>

<h4>
    <strong><mark style="background-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0); color: #f0532a">The spiritual
            purpose</mark></strong>
</h4>

<p>
    The purpose of my existence is a spiritual one. The journey of my life is for
    my soul to return to the essence of its origin, which is spiritual energy in
    its original state. It is my assumption that the spiritual purpose of my life
    is fulfilled through a silent inner connection with my living teacher. It is
    through this inner connection, experienced within my heart, that I can evolve
    to the goal of the highest spiritual level in my lifetime. The effect of yogic
    Transmission from the teacher is for me evident in how I observe changes
    within myself and in others.&nbsp;
</p>

<p>
    I considered myself to be flaky when I began Heartfulness Meditation in 1994.
    I now have a grounded-ness within, like an oak tree rooted to the eternal. The
    deepest longing of my heart is simultaneously satisfied and expands with the
    simple act of connecting to the core of my human essence. Many unnecessary
    preoccupations have fallen off over years of practice. Changes happen in a
    natural manner. The road ahead is still long and many more layers of ego
    require pruning.
</p>

<hr class="vertical-space1" />

<div>
    <figure>
        <img decoding="async" width="700" height="493" alt="" class="mx-auto d-block lazyload has-img-center"
            src="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/allure_of_distraction3_700x493_5aefd2ba26.jpg?updated_at=2023-04-12T11:04:43.371Z" />
    </figure>
</div>

<hr class="vertical-space1" />

<p>
    So, it is very challenging for me to see how utterly bound I am to thinking
    and action, because it is how I live my life. It is hardly a surprise then
    that having an experience of a very subtle and beautiful state devoid of
    choice-making felt like the satisfaction of my longing. It was so subtle and
    unfamiliar, and therefore it was hard to rest there. I needed time to adjust
    to the new inner atmosphere, which was lighter and subtler. I was scared to
    remain in the unknown, to remain not choosing by being without the churning of
    thoughts. I opted for choosing the familiar merry-go-round of doing and
    thinking.
</p>

<h4>
    <strong><mark style="background-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0); color: #f0532a">Satisfying your
            heart’s desire</mark></strong>
</h4>

<p>
    Does this story shed any light on your experience of your spiritual journey? I
    invite you to question the beliefs and deeply held ideas that inform how you
    live your life every day.
</p>

<p>
    Does it ring any bells that you might long for something deep inside, yet the
    distractions of life keep getting in the way?
</p>

<p>
    Life is full of endless distraction. It is hardly surprising then that my
    research into my own experience sheds light on my fear of letting go, despite
    an intense spiritual longing. Zero has few reference points for me.
    Distraction on the other hand is the stuff of the material world.
</p>

<hr class="vertical-space1" />

<hr />

<h4 class="has-text-align-center">Illustrations by ANANYA PATEL</h4>

<hr />

The allure of distraction

<h4>
  <strong><mark style="background-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0); color: #88b45f">MARGARET
      SCHENKMAN,</mark>
    <mark style="background-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0); color: #ec008c">ROSALIND
      PEARMAIN,</mark>
    <mark style="background-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0); color: #f26529">HESTER O
      CONNOR,</mark>
    and
    <mark style="background-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0); color: #00aeef">KRISHNAMURTHY
      JAYANNA</mark>
    address some of the challenges of doing research on consciousness, and
    explore the various approaches that give them the best understanding of how
    consciousness evolves.</strong>
</h4>

<hr class="vertical-space1" />

<p>
  Throughout the ages, spiritual practices have helped to expand human
  consciousness. This expansion changes our relationships with our selves, with
  others, and with our environment. A few years ago, Daaji encouraged scientists
  in the Heartfulness community to study consciousness, so we took up this
  challenge. Here, a few of us wish to summarize some of what we have learned.
</p>

<p>
  In order to describe and measure consciousness, we needed to define what we
  meant by the term. Consciousness is defined and measured in very different
  ways, depending on whether it is in medicine, philosophy, or quantum physics.
  Daaji has described consciousness as “the degree of awareness and
  unawareness,” which changes to a large extent according to the refinement of
  three other mental functions – mind, intellect, and ego. Consciousness evolves
  to the extent that mind, intellect, and ego evolve. Mind evolves from thinking
  to feeling, intellect from intelligence to intuition to wisdom, and ego from
  arrogance to love and humility.&nbsp;
</p>

<p>
  We quickly realized that there were no available measures to capture
  consciousness from this perspective. Therefore, our first step was to
  interview people who practice Heartfulness meditation. Eleven Heartfulness
  practitioners were asked an open-ended question about how Heartfulness
  affected their everyday life. Their responses were surprising and brought new
  insights into how people experience a meditation practice.
</p>

<p>
  The practitioners gave new insights into the experience of meditation as it
  permeates everyday life, and four themes emerged:
</p>

<h4>
  <strong><mark style="background-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0); color: #dba329">1. Tangible,
      deeply felt effects that give a sense of being true or
      real&nbsp;</mark></strong>
</h4>

<p>
  Embarking on Heartfulness Meditation can lead to changes that are tangible,
  and recognized as authentic or real. For some, they include the experience of
  a new sense of inner spaciousness associated with the heart focus, and inner
  experiences that are described as sublime, profound, pure, and inspiring.
</p>

<h4>
  <strong><mark style="background-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0); color: #dba329">2. Groundedness
      and a deeper context of existence, altering
      relationships</mark></strong>
</h4>

<p>
  Sometimes, inner changes led to a feeling of groundedness. Over time, some
  participants experienced a real and authentic inner source that supports a
  more solid sense of self and grounding within. This inner grounding allowed
  for more openness, trust, and honesty with others, and more empathy.
</p>

<h4>
  <strong><mark style="background-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0); color: #dba329">3. Focus on the
      heart as the center in the midst of flux and
      change&nbsp;</mark></strong>
</h4>

<p>
  Over time, a focus developed on sustaining a connection with the heart center.
  As life brings inevitable tests and changes, this heart focus is like an
  anchor in a stormy sea. It offers a continuous presence, a peacefulness, a
  field of sensibility, and a deeper orientation, in the midst of flux.
  Reconnecting with the heart could be challenging when distracted by daily
  stresses and pressures.
</p>

<h4>
  <strong><mark style="background-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0); color: #dba329">4. Immersion in
      love with less sense of “I”</mark></strong>
</h4>

<p>
  Increasingly, understanding emerged through the heart field, along with a
  feeling of no separation from others. It was possible to be in two states of
  consciousness at the same time: being completely immersed in the
  practicalities of work and life, and at the same time completely removed from
  daily preoccupations in the sense of expanded understanding, compassion, and
  oneness.
</p>

<p class="has-text-align-center">*</p>

<p>
  We then faced a dilemma: It is not practical to use interviews with large
  groups of people (50,100, or thousands), yet studying large groups is
  necessary to adequately observe changes in consciousness with meditation. We
  needed to translate what we had learned into something that could be measured.
</p>

<p>
  The themes that emerged from the interviews, along with specific comments of
  the participants, guided the development of a “Measure of Expanded
  Consciousness.” We tested this measure with over 400 participants, including
  Heartfulness meditators, meditators in other systems, and non-meditators. The
  resulting measure, which is in its final stages of development, is based upon
  the answers to35 questions contained in the following five categories:
</p>

<ol type="1">
  <li>Relationship with others</li>
  <li>Judgment of self</li>
  <li>Connection to inner self (heart)</li>
  <li>Greater dimension beyond self</li>
  <li>Acceptance and surrender</li>
</ol>

<hr class="vertical-space1" />

<div>
  <figure>
    <img decoding="async" width="500" height="750" alt="" class="mx-auto d-block lazyload has-img-center"
      src="https://cdn-prod-static.heartfulness.org/conundrum_of_consciousness2_c9d987e9ba.jpg?updated_at=2023-04-13T09:40:54.061Z" />
  </figure>
</div>

<hr class="vertical-space1" />

<p>
  The conundrum of measuring changes in consciousness is not trivial.&nbsp; The
  two approaches – interviews and quantitative measures – give very different,
  yet related information, each with strengths and weaknesses, neither of which
  can fully capture consciousness among meditators.
</p>

<p>
  Qualitative descriptions from meditators tap into personal feelings and
  awareness not previously described. There is a move from a focus on thinking
  to a focus on feeling, and changes in ephemeral constructs such as intuition,
  inspiration, humility, and love. Furthermore, this approach offers flexibility
  and variability of responses, as each person’s lived experience is described
  in their own words.
</p>

<p>
  In contrast, quantitative data from the “Measure of Expanding Consciousness”
  can easily be used to study groups of people or populations, but the
  information is limited by the very nature of trying to fit abstract feelings
  into concrete words. The data obtained from one measure only provide
  information based on the content and specific wording within that measure; the
  information is necessarily limited.
</p>

<p>
  Our solution to this conundrum is to combine the two approaches – to obtain
  quantitative data from a large group, while simultaneously obtaining
  qualitative data from a sample of the participants. These qualitative data
  will allow us to add depth and texture to that which is learned from the
  “Measure of Expanding Consciousness.” Using this combination, we will explore
  questions such as:
</p>

<ul>
  <li>How does consciousness change with meditation?</li>
  <li>
    How do those changes relate to other important concepts such as loneliness,
    resilience, and depression?&nbsp;
  </li>
</ul>

<p>
  Although we may never fully answer the fundamental question of how
  consciousness evolves, we may perhaps begin to approach an understanding with
  increasing precision through combining these two approaches.
</p>

<p class="has-text-color" style="color: #52728b">
  <strong><mark style="background-color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0); color: #dba329"
     >References</mark></strong>
</p>

<p class="has-text-color" style="color: #587c92">
  Lanfranco, R.C.et al, 2022. Towards a vision from within.&nbsp;
  <em>Adaptive Behavior</em>. DOI: 10.1177/10597123221080193
</p>

<p class="has-text-color" style="color: #587c92">
  Patel, K.D., 2022.<em>The Evolution of Consciousness</em>. Talk given for the
  150<sup>th</sup> birth anniversary of Shri Aurobindo.
  <a
    href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?app=desktop&amp;v=eFMWZ_0hDtA">https://www.youtube.com/watch?app=desktop&amp;v=eFMWZ_0hDtA</a><br />
</p>

<p class="has-text-color" style="color: #587c92"></p>
<hr class="vertical-space1" />

Hester O Connor

Dr Hester O Connor is a Clinical Psychologist who manages a psychology service in the Irish Health Service. She lives in Wicklow, the Garden of Ireland, loves chatting with friends, drinking Darjeeling tea, and listening to pop music.

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