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Oh, there i am

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Oh, there i am

oh, there i am – lost

years ago,
i began
a very long game
of hide and seek.
i looked in every nook
and i scavenged every cranny
to try and find
where i might have been hidden.

i thought i was concealed
behind the fast-fading
highs of success.
i was adamant
that i existed
in the hearts of those
who never stayed.

in my blackest state of loneliness
i had given up all hope,
and believed I was lost for good.
in that dungeon of rock bottom
a voice that sounded
suspiciously like my own
made its way through the cracks
of my beat up, battered soul.

kindly, but firmly
she whispered to my heart:
“my dear, you have
looked everywhere,
when all along,
you were here.”

oh, there i am – found

a few days ago
i glanced into the mirror
and was surprised to find
a stranger peering back at me.
who was this girl
eyes bright with joy,
smile full with excitement,
spine straight with confidence,
spirit strong with conviction?

those brown eyes
are shaped like mine.
and that smile
belongs to me.
when she stretches her spine
i grow taller.
the more she speaks
my spirit grows bolder.

the deeper i go
the more i am surprised
to find
i was never going to be found
in any nook or cranny
i was hiding in me
all along.

Illustrations by LAKSHMI GADDAM

Mamata Venkat



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