oh, there i am – lost
years ago,
i began
a very long game
of hide and seek.
i
looked in every nook
and i scavenged every cranny
to try and find
where
i might have been hidden.
i thought i was concealed
behind the fast-fading
highs of
success.
i was adamant
that i existed
in the hearts of those
who
never stayed.
in my blackest state of loneliness
i had given up all hope,
and
believed I was lost for good.
in that dungeon of rock bottom
a voice
that sounded
suspiciously like my own
made its way through the
cracks
of my beat up, battered soul.
kindly, but firmly
she whispered to my heart:
“my dear, you have
looked
everywhere,
when all along,
you were here.”
oh, there i am – found
a few days ago
i glanced into the mirror
and was surprised to
find
a stranger peering back at me.
who was this girl
eyes
bright with joy,
smile full with excitement,
spine straight with
confidence,
spirit strong with conviction?
those brown eyes
are shaped like mine.
and that smile
belongs
to me.
when she stretches her spine
i grow taller.
the more she
speaks
my spirit grows bolder.
the deeper i go
the more i am surprised
to find
i was never
going to be found
in any nook or cranny
i was hiding in me
all
along.
Illustrations by LAKSHMI GADDAM
Mamata Subramanyam
