Do you dream of becoming a positive force and a beacon of hope in your community? What does it take to become that person? The key lies within you. The first step is to prepare yourself – to create an inner state of contentment and steadiness – and this month DAAJI offers a very practical approach to doing just that.
The value of steadiness
Consider this: A sick man is cared for by two nurses, who serve him food and medicine and take care of all his comforts. One of them is anxious and upset about his illness while the other is composed and steady. Who do you think is able to serve him better?
Many of you may agree that it is the steady, composed nurse. She may feel just as much for her patient, but those feelings are uncomplicated, without turbulent emotions. She radiates a calmness that is just what is needed under pressure in challenging situations, and this calmness helps others to also stay calm. Her inner steadiness and centeredness allow her to be clear about her duties and responsibilities.
Whether you are a teacher, a homemaker, a musician, a parent, a soldier, or an activist, you will have certain responsibilities and duties that require you to make decisions and take action. When your mind is conflicted or confused, there is inner tension about what to do or say in any situation, whereas when your mind is centered in the heart and steady, you will be guided from within to choose the right way forward.
A good example of this inner tension is the dilemma Arjuna faced five thousand years ago on the battlefield of Kurukshetra just before the Mahabharata war began. He was conflicted. On the one hand he felt a strong sense of responsibility toward his guru, his grandparents, and other family members and friends, who were his enemies on the battlefield. He didn’t want to fight them, and I think we can all relate to that sentiment. On the other hand, Lord Krishna was urging Arjuna to act according to a higher sense of duty – that of good over evil. He was there to encourage Arjuna to honor this higher duty to the universal laws.
Because Arjuna’s mind was unsteady, his hand could not lift the bow. Lord Krishna supported him, not by talking about bravery and courage, but by revealing the secret of a steady mind anchored in the Self. In a classic one-two punch (Gita 2:55), he said, “Arjuna, transcend desires and be content in the Self. This will help you become one whose insight is steady.”
It is not often that we are faced with an ethical dilemma of the magnitude Arjuna faced in the Bhagavad Gita, but in day-to-day life we are constantly making choices that require us to think about our duties and responsibilities. In fact, this sense of moral responsibility is at the fore of many people’s consciousness right now, as we adjust our lifestyle from “me to we” in order to solve far-reaching issues like loneliness, an international mental health pandemic, environmental destruction, climate change, and dwindling resources, social inequality and prejudice, the social crisis brought on by Covid, fake news and social polarization.
Develop contentment
and transcend desire.
How can we as individuals contribute to solutions? Well, every choice we make in our day-to-day lives contributes. Do we have a clear understanding of the consequences of our thoughts and actions? If we are to effectively honor both our social responsibilities and the higher sense of duty, we need access to that calm inner steadiness, which is known in Yoga as Sthitapragya. So, in the coming sections, I wish to share a practical approach to finding steadiness. But first, a deeper dive into what creates conflict and turmoil in the first place.
Desires lead to dilemmas
In the village of my childhood, we had many buffalos. Each buffalo was tethered to a particular pole overnight. At the end of the day, when the animals came back from grazing, each buffalo would go straight to its own pole. The minds of buffaloes know where to anchor themselves. In contrast, human minds are swayed by so many likes and dislikes that we sometimes miss the anchor. The chocolate gateau, the Swiss watch, those romantic getaways, the diamond necklace … the list of wants never ends. Within reason, it’s okay to cater to wishes, but when they get the better of us, things soon get out of hand.
Years ago, during my business days, a young man worked for me as a Pharmacy Intern. He had the unique ability to fill prescriptions with speed and competence, while also being adept at running the regular retail sales in the store. And he was hard working. These skills are the lifeline of a boutique pharmacy. So when an opportunity came to buy a new store, I invited him to become my partner.
He was keen, but he didn’t have the money to invest, so I financed his share and got him started as an entrepreneur. I let him run the show, and over the next few years he generated a decent profit. But then something changed. The business started losing money. One day, I spoke to him, offering assistance. He said, “We don’t make money because insurance rules gouge us,” but the rules were the same for my other stores and they all made a profit. Something didn’t add up, but I didn’t push the matter.
A few months later, in a very matter-of-fact way, he asked me to give him my share of the business. Perplexed, I asked him how he would manage a losing business after buying me out. He went silent on me. Later, I came to know that he had done a deal with the landlord to transfer the lease into his name. I was now in a fix. I sold him my share for cents on the dollar and cut my ties with him.
The festering desire to own the store led my associate to a place where greed overshadowed all his decisions. When desire overwhelms the mind, the moral fabric is reduced to tatters. He had lost all sense of responsibility, even to himself.
It is for this reason that cultures across the world espouse some form of restraint to vaccinate us against overwhelming desire. Fasting during Ramadan, Lent, and Ekadashi are just some examples of traditions that are designed to strengthen our moral fabric, and intermittent fasting and digital detoxing are modern-day scientific equivalents. But they are all only temporary fixes unless they lead to permanent habits of restraint. A better permanent solution is the one-two punch offered by Lord Krishna in the Gita: Develop contentment and transcend desire. We’ll explore both these ideas, starting with contentment.
Contentment illuminates the way forward
According to the dictionary, the word “contentment” means “a peaceful state of happiness and satisfaction.” So, ask yourself: “What makes me peaceful, happy, and satisfied?” Are you dependent on external things, and having your expectations met, or do you find contentment from within? An inner state of contentment in its true sense results from accepting the reality of what is over what we wish to happen; and when there are no wishes, the situation is very easy!
In contentment we are centered; the mind does not wander here and there. We are anchored in the self. Contentment is a signature of a steady mind. When you shake a glass of water, the movement creates waves, but try shaking the water in the ocean. No matter how hard you try, the ocean stays its rhythm. A steady person is like that, clear and unwavering from the path of duty, and the conviction that arises within that steady state gives us the courage to do what is right.
If you reflect on your own life,
you will probably find
that the
times
you are most content are also
the times you are happiest.
In
contentment lies the potential for
calmness, compassion, courage, and
clarity.
Positive social change comes from contented hearts and clear steady minds.
Contentment also creates more contentment within. Seeds of contentment germinate and grow into a majestic forest of contentment. The nectar, the fragrance, and the flowers that blossom in this forest are peace, happiness, and tranquility. When we are contented, we make no demands. We impose upon no one. Wherever we are, we are happy. And science confirms that happiness leads to success, not the other way round. When we are contented, we spread joy wherever we go. We are givers rather than takers.
If you reflect on your own life, you will probably find that the times you are most content are also the times you are happiest. In contentment lies the potential for calmness, compassion, courage, and clarity – the 5 Cs of the heart chakra – and it all starts with contentment.
Contentment, combined with inner purity, allows us to let go of desires. And when we let go, our minds naturally focus on what is needed in any situation rather than being pulled by likes and dislikes. We no longer struggle with ethical dilemmas, as the heart guides and everything falls into place; we remain both dutiful and responsible in the right measure. Everything we need is within us. The inner lamp glows, illuminating the path ahead.
When we are contented, we make no demands.
We impose upon
no one.
Wherever we are, we are happy.
And science confirms that happiness
leads to success,
not the other way round. When we are contented,
we
spread joy wherever we go.
Getting there
During his lifetime, Lord Krishna shared this knowledge many times, but he was often rebuked or insulted. On the battlefield, Arjuna’s honest plea for help meant he was receptive to the Lord’s message. An honest heart pleading for help always receives a response from the Divine, and the Heartfulness practices prepare our hearts to be receptive. Try them for yourself and you will discover the lightness and freedom that is possible within.
Everything we need
is within us.
The inner lamp
glows,
illuminating
the path ahead.
Illustrations by JASMEE MUDGAL
Daaji
Kamlesh Patel is known to many as Daaji. He is the Heartfulness Guide in a tradition of Yoga meditation that is over 100 years old, overseeing 14,000 certified Heartfulness trainers and many volunteers in over 160 countries. He is an inn... Read More
