Entropy in Human Relationships
KAMLESH D. PATEL explains how the second law of thermodynamics plays out in our relationships, leading to disintegration and breakdown, and shares with us the inputs needed to overcome entropy, bringing stability and harmony.
The Science of Spirituality
Entropy in Human Relationships
What is entropy?
Let’s try to understand it practically. You bring a book home from the library, and then your father gives you another book as a gift. Your girlfriend gives you magazines, and you have music CDs. They all pile up on a small table in your room, so now there will be enough clutter on your table. The rest of your room is also in a disorganised state: your clothes are here, your socks are there and your towel is hanging somewhere. This is a disintegrated system; the system has gone haywire.
You get frustrated with the mess and clean everything up. You put each book where it belongs, wash your laundry and make your bed. Now the room looks cleaner than before, until again you start bringing more books and things, and again the system disintegrates and becomes disorganised. To keep things in order requires constant energy input.
We need input to stabilise any relationship, to iron out the wrinkles or differences,
so that we don’t harbour and store things forever.
So entropy is the degree of disorder or randomness in any system. The second law of thermodynamics says that entropy increases with time. It reflects the instability of a system over a period of time if there is nothing to stabilise it.
In human relationships, we have interactions day after day and these relationships also become higgledy-piggledy. We let things build up in our inner chambers. These inner chambers become more and more disorganised as we store more and more, just like the books and clothes in our room. We keep harbouring things, and one day what we harbour explodes, unless we do something about it. We need input to stabilise any relationship, to iron out the wrinkles or differences, so that we don’t harbour and store things forever.
But do we have to do this every time we make a mistake? Do we have to offer another person ice cream or candy to always pacify them? This would mean a constant investment to maintain a relationship.
When constant input is required every time there is a fight or an argument with a friend or family member, you will require greater input each time. You may even have to buy them a Mercedes one day, if you can afford it! At the same time, it is our business to love each other, whatever the cost. You will get hurt in the process, no doubt, and there will be a lot of energy consumption from your side, but if you are prepared for it the relationship will improve.
In a family, if you have to tolerate each other, then constant input is required. In situations where you have to give constant emotional input it is a broken family, even though you may be together.
The conclusion is that it is the love that you have in your heart
that is the input that stabilises relationships.
In contrast, when there is love amongst all, and when acceptance is there, then you do not have to go on offering ice cream or going to some paradise vacation spot to patch things up. It is taken for granted that you accept each other with love. The conclusion is that it is the love that you have in your heart that is the input that stabilises relationships. Things are okay. There is a greater level of acceptance.
I am not talking about tolerance. Tolerance may be a great virtue, but when you feel, “I can’t tolerate this person’s mistakes,” love will iron out everything, so that it is okay. From where does this love come? From a pure heart; from a truthful, genuine heart.
Distrust kills a relationship, but in families where we are taught to love, to sacrifice, to accept and to remain pure, we are able to let go of everything. We can remove the incompatibility, by understanding this principle of entropy.
When zero input is needed, it means that it is the most stable relationship,
the most stable family, where I don’t have to explain myself…
Where there is love, there is no need for explanations.
When the constant state of my being is love, then the need for constant input disappears and the constant input is zero. When zero input is needed, it means that it is the most stable relationship, the most stable family, where I don’t have to explain myself. There is no need for, “I did this because…”, “I didn’t want to do this because…”. Where there is love, there is no need for explanations.
Article by KAMLESH D. PATEL
March 01, 2017
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