DAAJI continues his series on
refining habits, in the light of Patanjali’s Ashtanga Yoga and current
scientific and yogic principles and practices. Last month, he shone a
light on the habit of moderation, brahmacharya, exploring the way
our senses interface with our feelings and desires. This month, he focuses
on the final Yama, the virtue of aparigraha, which means
not being possessive, attached, greedy, or focused on material gain.
What do we really need?
Minimalism and sustainability
In the last few decades, there has been a growing movement away from
indulgence and hedonism toward simplicity, minimalism and living a
sustainable lifestyle, centered around the 5Rs of refuse, reduce, reuse,
repurpose and recycle. We see this in building, architecture and interior
design, for example, with the many TV and streaming programs showing us
how to live in smaller homes made with recycled and natural materials. We
have been wowed by Marie Kondo’s book,
The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up, and TV show, Tidying Up,
challenging us to buy only those things that we need, and that bring us
joy, and encouraging us to clean up our living spaces. And as a result of
the obesity epidemic in the developed world, we see this trend also with
food and diet. In general, we are moving toward “more and more of less and
less” in the words of my first teacher, Babuji.
This principle of taking and using only what we need has been followed by
yogis since time immemorial, and it pertains to all areas of life. In Yoga
it is known as aparigraha, and it is the fifth and final
Yama.
As we face the dangers of climate change, environmental destruction, mass
extinction of species, and the vast inequality among people from different
social and cultural walks of life, this Yama is truly the need of
the hour.
Aparigraha
Aparigraha is the culmination of the other four Yamas –
love, truthfulness, honesty and moderation. It is an important underlying
principle in all cultures, as well as all religious and philosophical
traditions, even though it is not always fashionable. Over the centuries,
we find that many seekers have renounced material possessions to live the
lives of medicants. And during the last 50 years, many people have chosen
to live off the grid, to escape the rat race, to simplify their lifestyle,
and to actively denounce the throw-away culture of modern urban life.
While these choices can be seen as aspects of aparigraha, this
Yama is not only about renouncing material acquisitiveness. It
also means that even when we live in the world and have possessions, we
are not so attached to them that we are affected by their presence or
absence.
The Sanskrit word aparigraha is made up of three components: a,
a prefix meaning “non,” pari, meaning “on all sides,” and
graha, meaning “to take, grab or seize.” It is the opposite of
parigraha, which means to focus on gain and acquisition, and
generally refers to material gain. Aparigraha means to rise above
a “taking” attitude, and to accept what is truly needed at any stage of
life. This involves self-restraint, avoiding overindulgence and
covetousness, and removing the greed and possessiveness that bring
destruction in their wake. Another definition of this principle is to give
more than you receive. It is to live in the consciousness of abundance
instead of scarcity.
And perhaps it is even more than that, because Swami Vivekananda once
said that aparigraha means not to accept any gift from anybody,
even when you are suffering terribly, because when you receive a gift from
another person your heart becomes attached and beholden. You receive the
vibrations of the person who has given. You lose your independence.
This is an interesting perspective that is worthy of reflection. Does
Swami Vivekananda mean that we should remain so aloof from one another?
Let’s try to understand it further.
A natural etiquette of care emerges in our behavior
because our thoughts and actions are no longer based on personal
desires.
We are no longer pulled by likes and dislikes for people, places or
things.
We simply live our life with devotion,
developing an unattached state naturally and spontaneously.
It is not that we are detached in
a heartless way – instead we love everyone and everything,
universally.
Possession versus belonging
One way to approach this is to explore the emotional difference between
belonging and possessing. Imagine the scenario in childhood of your mother
cooking meals for you every day and serving you with so much love. The
times when you went to a friend’s place for dinner, you were so thankful
for the meal, but did you show a similar gratitude toward your own mother
every day? Or imagine it is raining, and you find shelter under someone
else’s roof. Again, you are thankful to the homeowner, but are you so
grateful to your family members for the shelter your home provides every
day? No, because you take them for granted. You have the sense that they
are yours! You belong together. Belonging brings us closer; it is
fundamentally different from the attitude of possession, which is
transactional.
So, going back to Swami Vivekananda’s statement, when there is love and
belonging, there is no longer the transaction of giving and receiving, of
possessing. What is mine is automatically yours. In fact, there is no
longer any “mine” and “yours.”
As a result, our sense of human duty to each other and all other forms of
life develops naturally, because we put others first as the result of an
inner generosity of the heart. A natural etiquette of care emerges in our
behavior because our thoughts and actions are no longer based on personal
desires. We are no longer pulled by likes and dislikes for people, places
or things. We simply live our life with devotion, developing an unattached
state naturally and spontaneously. It is not that we are detached in a
heartless way – instead we love everyone and everything, universally.
A story
There are many great ancient kings whose lives can teach us a lot about
aparigraha – one among them is Raja Janaka of India. It may be
easier for a poor person to be unattached to wealth and possessions, but
what about a wealthy king who has everything? Still today, these men are
known for their wisdom and generosity of heart rather than for their
wealth, even though their material success was staggering. There is a
wonderful story about Raja Janaka that exemplifies this quality of
aparigraha, which is so often misunderstood by those on the path
of Yoga.
A young seeker was instructed by his teacher to visit Raja Janaka to
continue his spiritual training. The teacher said to the youth, “I
renounced the world – I know nothing of worldly life – so you must go to a
teacher who knows about the world if you want to continue to progress. The
next step in your training will be with him.”
The student was baffled. He thought, “If this Raja is so enlightened, why
does he live in a palace surrounded by opulence and possessions? Surely he
would have renounced all that if he is a serious spiritual seeker and no
longer has any interest in possessions.”
But because his teacher had insisted, he decided to be open-minded and
travel to the palace of Videha.
He arrived in the evening, and Raja Janaka invited him to the court.
Everyone was having a good time, and there was a lot of overindulgence, so
the seeker wanted to leave immediately, feeling quite disgusted with
whatever he saw. Raja Janaka persuaded him to stay the night and leave the
next morning, so that he could also speak with him one-on-one about why he
had come.
The young seeker was well cared for. He ate well, bathed and was ushered
into a beautiful room with a grand bed and stunning views across the lake
and the forests. He was tired and decided to turn in early, but when he
lay on the bed he looked up and saw a sharp sword hanging by a thin thread
just above his head. Needless to say, he didn’t sleep that night! He
didn’t enjoy the bed, the room, or the view, as the sword took all his
attention.
The next morning, Raja Janaka asked, “Did you sleep well?”
The youth answered with some frustration, “Your Highness, how could I
sleep with that sword hanging above me all night?”
The king smiled and asked, “You were in the most beautiful room with the
most luxurious bed, and still you could not sleep?”
“No, your Highness, because of that sword I was unaware of my
surroundings. I have never been so afraid.”
So the king replied, “Stay here a while with me. I may live in this grand
palace, but the sword of death is above me every second of every day, and
the thread holding it is thinner than the thread holding the sword above
your bed. Any moment I may die. Would you like to learn how to live like
that in the world?”
The point Raja Janaka was trying to make is that when we are aware of the
fragility and transient nature of this worldly life, we lose any sense of
possessiveness, as death does not allow us to take anything with us in our
onward journey. In fact, the very idea of possessiveness becomes
ridiculous. Our attention is inward, not outward. No matter whether we are
poor or wealthy, when we understand the natural cycles of birth, life,
death, and our existence beyond the physical plane, we become free of
possessiveness.
The circle of life
In his Yoga Sutras, the sage Patanjali explains it like this:
2.39: Aparigraha-sthairye janma-kathanta sambodhah
When established in non-possessiveness,
the yogi understands and sees the truth of
earthly life and rebirth.
Looking inward, we become aware of the Center of our existence. Having
let go of all possessiveness, in the resulting purity we also become aware
of the nature of our past lives, our comings and goings from this mortal
dimension. This spurs us on toward a higher goal, beyond the physical
dimension – toward the ultimate goal of life.
Looking inward, we become aware of the Center of our existence.
Having let go of all possessiveness, in the resulting purity
we also become aware of the nature of our past lives,
our comings and goings from this mortal dimension.
This spurs us on toward a higher goal,
beyond the physical dimension – toward the ultimate goal of life.
How do we achieve this?
We live in a world where marketing professionals and advertisers try to
inflate our desires to look beautiful, wear the latest fashions, own a
fabulous house and car, amass wealth, and have health, a successful career
and a happy family life. FOMO (fear of missing out) is constantly pulling
us outward in the belief that we need all this to be happy, otherwise we
can easily see ourselves as failures. Social media intensifies this
outward focus even further by posting photoshopped images and fake
personas. In such a lifestyle there is little connection with the Center –
everything is outward-focused instead of inward-focused. It is no wonder
that people continue to grasp for more and more, hoping it will bring the
happiness that will always be elusive through this outward quest for
materiality, until eventually our attention turns to focus on the
innermost.
There are two aspects to how we achieve aparigraha: the first is
to remove the existing attachments we have, and the second is to maintain
the purity of an inward focus so as to continue to be free of the pull of
possessiveness.
By this, I don’t mean that we have to give up all our material
possessions and attachments. Here we are talking about inner attitude. It
is within us that the solution lies, not in the possessions themselves, no
matter how much or how little we have. It is all about non-attached
attachment. Otherwise we may become obsessive with pride at having no
attachment to possessions. It is possible to become attached to
non-attachment!
By maintaining and enhancing the condition
and attachment to the Center we experience
in meditation every morning, throughout the day,
we are vaccinated against the pull of desires.
This is the ultimate spiritual protection
we can keep alive through a regular daily practice.
Here are some of the Heartfulness practices that help us to transcend
possessiveness and live in a state of constant belonging and
aparigraha:
Meditation: takes us
inward to our Center, and trains the mind to ignore external
stimuli.
Cleaning: removes
the underlying habitual attachments we have based on our likes and
dislikes from the past and present. Done daily, the practice of cleaning
continues to maintain our purity of consciousness.
Prayer: connects us
with the Center of all existence, and allows the flow of Grace to
continuously move from the Center into our hearts.
Point A Meditation:
cultivates the feeling of belong to the same family. We develop the sense
that everyone and everything are our brothers and sisters. This way, we
remain in a constant state of “belonging.”
Meditative state: by
maintaining and enhancing the condition and attachment to the Center we
experience in meditation every morning, throughout the day, we are
vaccinated against the pull of desires. This is the ultimate spiritual
protection we can keep alive through a regular daily practice.
As we develop the attitude of belongingness,
and let go of the attitude of possessiveness,
the circumference of our giving will continue to expand,
until eventually our hearts will become generators of generosity,
giving to all who are in need.
In summary
Once we are able to remain in a state of aparigraha, we will no
longer be buffeted by the ups and downs of the outside world, fame or
fortune. We will be contented no matter what. We will have no need to beg,
nor any need to flaunt our wealth and success. Everything will remain
focused on the Center, which is beyond the material existence. We will be
happy with whatever the universe provides.
Does it mean that we should not strive to excel in this world? Not at
all. Is it okay to earn to provide for our families and friends? Of
course. As we develop the attitude of belongingness, and let go of the
attitude of possessiveness, the circumference of our giving will continue
to expand, until eventually our hearts will become generators of
generosity, giving to all who are in need. It reminds me of the famous
Quaker saying:
“I expect to pass through this world but once.
Any good, therefore, that I can do or any kindness
I can show to any fellow creature, let me do it now.
Let me not defer or neglect it for I shall not pass this way again.”
Article by KAMLESH PATEL (DAAJI)
